I guess, this email might be not quite as enthusiastic as others... but I am fully positive that all will be well and that everything does happen for a reason, for us to grow and to have faith in the Lord.
I guess to start of the email is that this week, I have been so overwhelmed that I broke down last Saturday due to the stress. I wasn't myself and I couldn't think straight. I realized that I was pushing myself too hard and so I asked for a break, from both Heavenly Father and my leaders. Even just for an hour to get myself together. I never really understood why I was so stressed out. I couldn't sleep properly even if I was so exhausted. I didn't really feel good. But after the hour of rest, I was back on track and I felt relaxed and calm. I was just on fire while doing missionary work. I was happy, my companion has always been supportive and talking to my trainer really helped me cope up as well. We even had a four generation picture. I never felt as positive and as hyperactive as I was yesterday and everything felt pretty good. I woke up this morning with the determination that things will be the same.
Well, mission, just like life itself, is really a roller coaster. I guess it's because this is how the Lord is making you grow. He will NEVER make you stay in your comfort zone. You need to STRETCH. You need to exercise your spiritual muscles. You need to increase your faith in Him and do the very best that you can to follow His will. Because only through His grace, love and mercy will you be able to get through all these challenges, ups and downs and whatever crazy thing LIFE itself has to offer.
Earlier, I just received news that one of our loved ones passed away. I guess that's why the Lord wanted me to stretch so much is that I would be able to prepare myself from this. And I just read Adjusting to Missionary Life earlier on how I can cope up with a stress emergency or stress in general. Somehow, I am thinking of the positive side of things even though the loss was truly tragic. I do know that God has a plan, as He always does. This loved one was a very great example to my family and I could also say that it was the experiences during these past weeks that made our family strengthened and our faith increased. I have never felt the Spirit so strong nor the happiness of seeing the family coming even closer together with each other and in the Lord. By anything, I have learned is that we should always trust in God, we need to become closer to the Savior. Once we go with that, everything falls into place. Hearts become softer and families grow closer together and everything is just better. My testimony about the gospel and about God's Plan of Happiness strengthened.
Life always goes on. God loves us. He knows us. As President Spencer W. Kimball said "God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets ourneeds." And I guess for me, it's my family, companions and every one involved in my life who does that... including my investigators or recent converts.
Doctrine and Covenants 42:45-46
Doctrine and Covenants 42:45-46
Sister Kristel Marie Cruz NgoUtah Salt Lake CityTemple Square Mission