Saturday, July 18, 2015

Another Night... I can't sleep

Here I am again...

Ever since I got this laptop this morning, I never let go of it except for the time when my dad had to reformat it and put the necessary drives and programs that I wanted. Now, I'm waiting for some of my mission photos to finish getting uploaded on Facebook and waiting for some songs to be imported from another computer to this device.

Once again, looking at my mission pictures made me feel how much I missed being a missionary. But somehow life must go on and the things learned from those 18 months must somehow be applied in my everyday decisions. Although it was quite frustrating to learn that my mom still thinks that I think like my father who, in her view, doesn't really know how to think things differently. I, in a way, object to that because who I am and how I think now is a product of those 18 months in Salt Lake City, Utah and Athens, Monroe and Loganville, Georgia. I do acknowledge and accept that there are still a lot of things to improve on. Going to sleep early, for one, is an example.

I haven't had enough sleep for the past 3 nights. The first night was because I miss my mission. I miss becoming a missionary. I miss the experiences and I want to experience it again. What triggered it was watching a video by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, entitled "How can we feel the same joy we felt in our missions?" Elder Holland is always spot on. He definitely became my favorite Apostle throughout my mission. The second night was just that things were going through my head. This was last night. My best friend and I were together and I ended up didn't feel like going to bed because of it. I always enjoyed being in his company, even though we never really knew what was going to happen to the two of us and where our time spent was going as well. Both of us, being the same age of 25, somehow still didn't feel we are ready for a commitment... yet.

Then here's tonight. Not really a good enough reason to stay up late but do I really have a choice?

Hope I would be able to get through this next week before the temple opens again.

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